Saying goodbye is a part of life. Something we do every day. You end a phone conversation with goodbye or some version of it. You leave a person's house you tell them goodbye.
I've said a lot of goodbyes in my lifetime. It's not easy. When my older girls were younger we moved frequently - like every 18 months. Make friends, invest part of yourself, say goodbye. I've had to leave a lot of friends. You stay in touch for a while. If you haven't moved to far away it's easier. If you move any distance it's harder to keep in touch. I quit making friends - it hurt to much to leave them.
Then the girls came along and grew up and moved. Oh man - those goodbyes were hard. When they moved a thousand miles away you didn't know when you would be seeing them again. Very, very difficult those goodbyes.
Nine years ago we moved to Tulsa. We love it here. We found a church - actually God put us in a church at the very beginning and we stayed there. Never visited another church. Skelly Drive became our second home. The people were not just friends but family.
God has another plan for us and we are leaving Skelly Drive. This has been a hard decision for us but we are at peace with it and know that God has something else in store for us. We are not leaving Tulsa. We are however, leaving friends and family. This is one of the hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say. We have plans in the works already for staying in touch with friends. This we should be able to do as we are not moving away - just on.
Last night at church we had our annual Thanksgiving Dinner. I love this time. As I was standing at the back of the room listening to the entertainment I looked around the room at all the people that we will not be gathering with on a regular basis any longer. Each one of these people hold a special place in my heart and it hurts to leave them. Some of them more special than others. I will not be able to stay in touch with every single one of them; but, I will be able to keep in touch with some. Through them I will be able to keep tabs on the rest of my extended family.
After we made our decision to leave, I called one of my dear friends to let her know that we would be leaving the church. After talking to her I wrote the following poem. While I specifically wrote it for her it applies to all my friends at Skelly Drive.
NOT GOODBYE
Goodbye is never easy – leaving is hard to do.
Know that wherever I am – I take a piece of you.
God placed you in my life and thus within my heart
So no matter where I go – we will never be apart.
A piece of you goes with me – wherever I may go
A piece of me I leave behind – know that this is so.
I count you as not just a friend but also family
You will never know how much you mean to me.
You helped me to become the person I am today
Because you walked beside me and never let me stray.
Whenever I was down, you did encourage me
You exemplify the person that I strive to be.
Your wisdom and your love I treasure in my heart
As long as I have those we are never far apart.
I count it a blessing to call you my dear friend
Know that this is not goodbye nor is it the end.
Written by: Kathie Marrs
November 6, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Wanted - One Sister
I had to debate over how to title this post. It is about sisters - but it's also about how I feel cheated. That's right! I feel cheated - I don't have a sister.
You might think "big deal - I don't either." Let me explain.
I feel cheated because I don't have a sister. It wasn't an issue when I was younger. I have three brothers whom I love dearly. We had so much fun growing up. I never misssed having a sister. We were there for each other even as we got older and grew into teenagers and adults. We had times when we didn't talk but we are past that. I never realized though what I was missing.
I have four girls. The three older girls are close in age (I had the 3 girls in 4 years). They had the typical childhood - fighting, playing, loving-hating each other depending on the moment. But ALWAYS there for each other. Don't be mean to one of them because you would have the ohter two to contend with. As they grew into teenagers and adults their relationships with each other grew too.
I see my girls and the relationship they have and started to realize I was missing out on something. I saw my friends who also had sisters. They too had something I didn't. Oh, don't get me wrong. My friends are there for me - always have been. But they aren't my sister.
There is just something about the relationship between sisters. They share everything - clothing, views, opionion, makeup. They support you in a way that your friend, parent or brother doesn't. They know the deep down you and they still love you and support you. They can be your fiercest defender, your strongest supporter, your most critical critic. They will hold you when you cry and not make a judgement on the reason. They will laugh for no reason at all until you do cry from laughing so hard. And no one but you and your sisters will know what is so funny.
Your sister will tell you in no uncertain terms how you really look - even if you don't want to hear what she is saying. No way will you be leaving the house in an outfit that makes your tookus look huge unless that's what you are really wanting. And if something you wear doesn't fit quite right and you look like you "might be" pregnant - they will tell you. If your makeup is on so thick that you look slutty - they are going to comment on it believe me! But they do it because they know you want to know. And they also want you to tell them the same thing. Your sister will call you up and talk for 2 hours about nothing at all and you might spend that entire 2 hours crying or laughing.
They can share their fears, sorrows, joys, hopes, dreams. And I know you are thinking that you can share the same thing with friends, husband and you are right. However, a sister knows and feels exactly what you mean when you share this with her. This is what I see with my three older girls. And I realized - I want that. I was cheated - I don't have a sister.
Now don't get me wrong. As I said my brothers are there for me. Well, except for that one time when Steve, Wayne and I were together. I called Bub and asked for bail money. He stuttered and stammered and got very upset. Wanted to know what was going on. I explained to him that I was with Wayne and Steve and we had gone out and he knew how they were. He was very upset and told me no. Wouldn't even get money just to bail me out! He was even angrier when I told him we were just joking and missed him. I don't think he found it as amusing as we did.
So whether you want to think of this as a post for sisters or a post for being cheated you can. It boils down to the fact that I feel cheated because I don't have a sister.
You might think "big deal - I don't either." Let me explain.
I feel cheated because I don't have a sister. It wasn't an issue when I was younger. I have three brothers whom I love dearly. We had so much fun growing up. I never misssed having a sister. We were there for each other even as we got older and grew into teenagers and adults. We had times when we didn't talk but we are past that. I never realized though what I was missing.
I have four girls. The three older girls are close in age (I had the 3 girls in 4 years). They had the typical childhood - fighting, playing, loving-hating each other depending on the moment. But ALWAYS there for each other. Don't be mean to one of them because you would have the ohter two to contend with. As they grew into teenagers and adults their relationships with each other grew too.
I see my girls and the relationship they have and started to realize I was missing out on something. I saw my friends who also had sisters. They too had something I didn't. Oh, don't get me wrong. My friends are there for me - always have been. But they aren't my sister.
There is just something about the relationship between sisters. They share everything - clothing, views, opionion, makeup. They support you in a way that your friend, parent or brother doesn't. They know the deep down you and they still love you and support you. They can be your fiercest defender, your strongest supporter, your most critical critic. They will hold you when you cry and not make a judgement on the reason. They will laugh for no reason at all until you do cry from laughing so hard. And no one but you and your sisters will know what is so funny.
Your sister will tell you in no uncertain terms how you really look - even if you don't want to hear what she is saying. No way will you be leaving the house in an outfit that makes your tookus look huge unless that's what you are really wanting. And if something you wear doesn't fit quite right and you look like you "might be" pregnant - they will tell you. If your makeup is on so thick that you look slutty - they are going to comment on it believe me! But they do it because they know you want to know. And they also want you to tell them the same thing. Your sister will call you up and talk for 2 hours about nothing at all and you might spend that entire 2 hours crying or laughing.
They can share their fears, sorrows, joys, hopes, dreams. And I know you are thinking that you can share the same thing with friends, husband and you are right. However, a sister knows and feels exactly what you mean when you share this with her. This is what I see with my three older girls. And I realized - I want that. I was cheated - I don't have a sister.
Now don't get me wrong. As I said my brothers are there for me. Well, except for that one time when Steve, Wayne and I were together. I called Bub and asked for bail money. He stuttered and stammered and got very upset. Wanted to know what was going on. I explained to him that I was with Wayne and Steve and we had gone out and he knew how they were. He was very upset and told me no. Wouldn't even get money just to bail me out! He was even angrier when I told him we were just joking and missed him. I don't think he found it as amusing as we did.
So whether you want to think of this as a post for sisters or a post for being cheated you can. It boils down to the fact that I feel cheated because I don't have a sister.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)