What I Would Like To Say

Okay - I work for the IT Service Desk.  I know you are all aware of that as I have done a couple of posts about some of my calls.  This morning has not been the best of mornings call wise so thought I would make this post of how I would sometimes like to answer my calls.

If you call me and ask if you can speak to the Financial Aid office I will give you the number then go ahead and transfer you.  What I feel like saying in response to the question: Can I speak to Financial Aid?   "I don't care - you can if you want to."  Perhaps, 'No, not today they have already taken all the calls they are allowed in one day.'  Or maybe even, "I don't know.  Can you?'

If you call and tell me "this is probably a stupid question".   I say "not at all.  How can I help you?"  Some days I want to say, "if you think it's stupid it probably is."  Or maybe, 'Then let's just keep it to yourself, I've had all the stupid questions I can handle for the day."

If you continuously tell me, 'I'm old, this is kinda hard for me to get the hang of."  I want to respond, "Then don't even bother.  If you are having this much trouble just accessing your email you will never make it in class."  Or after looking at your account and seeing that you are under the age of 45, "Really, if you think you are 'old' then you must consider me ancient and I don't even consider myself ancient yet.'"  Or maybe, " Hey, I'm 55 and I don't have the problems you are having.  Perhaps going back to school is not the best idea for you." 

When you tell me that you are 'special and have your own login'; I would like to say, "Trust me - you aren't that special.  If you were you certainly wouldn't be calling me for assistance."  

When you call me for assistance and have someone else 'helping' you I want to say, "Get over there on that computer and do this yourself.  That is the only way you are going to know how to log in."  Or perhaps even, "Is your mom (wife, boyfriend, husband, daughter) going to be taking that test for you also?"

When I ask, 'Have you logged onto a computer on campus?'; the response I expect is a yes or a no.  When you start telling me that you just aren't sure I want to reply, "This is a pretty simple question.  If this is difficult to answer, trust me, they are only going to get harder from here on out." 

When you call and tell me that you cannot log onto the computer and it tells you to call; I will ask, "What does it say when you try to log in?"  When you respond, 'It says it's not right' I want to say, "Liar, it does not say that!" 

When I am trying to verify the answers to your security questions and you tell me, "Well, my mom was born in Cheyenne but I probably put in New York," I want to say:  'Why would you do that?  That's not even the correct state.'  Or maybe, 'Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.  Let's put in the name of a state thousands of miles away.' 

And lastly, if you call and have extreme trouble logging into our programs and I look up your account and see that you are well past 70+ I want to tell you to just forget it!   No one has enough patience to teach you how to use the computer at your age.  

Thanks for letting me vent again today.  Now I can face the rest of my day.