Being a Mom

Mother's Day is coming up this weekend. It's a time that makes you stop and think about your mother. If you have children, you also think about what it means to be a mother.  

I have five children and I don't know about you but my kids didn't come with any type of instruction manual.  No helpful insights on how to handle sleepless babies, diaper rash, terrible twos, me-me-me. Now most new moms are fortunate enough to have their mom to turn to for advise. If mom isn't close by she is at least a phone call away.  

Not me -- I lost my mom 11 months before my first child was born.  Not only did I not have my mother, I also didn't have a mother-in-law to turn to for advise.  I also was not living near my family so had no one to tell me what to do.  This may have been an advantage because I just winged it. I did what I wanted or felt was right.  I bottle fed my daughter, used cloth diapers (and can't believe now that I did this without having a washer and dryer of my own), gave her table food early on (perhaps as early as 3 months), weaned her from the bottle at nine months.  We made our own rules and she survived.  

Now fast forward two and a half years to my second child.  I had a mother-in-law who loved to give advise, a close friend who was a substitute mother to me, new town, new doctor, new state - but I'm still the same mother.  Hmmm - it seemed to me that what worked for child number one should work for child number two and nineteen months later in a new state with another new doctor and no one around it seemed it should work for child number three.  They all survived and are still alive today.  

Would I have preferred having mom there to call when I wasn't sure what to do?  Oh yes!!!  Definitely!  Did I make mistakes?  No doubt about it. But again -- they are all still alive.  We survived the toddler years, the tween years, the teen years, learning to drive, school issues, planning weddings, adding to 'our' lives with a new step-dad (love you Gary) and even adding two more children to our family.  

What have I learned as a mom?  Take time to spend time with your children - they are gone way to soon. Don't hesitate to set guidelines and stick to them - but remember once in a while rules are made to be broken.  A house doesn't have to be spotless to be clean - you can have spotless windows and dust-free furniture later.  Sometimes having dessert for dinner is all that is needed (or Krispy Kreme doughnuts). Say I love you and say it often - you never know how much time you have together. Take time to play with your children, color in a coloring book, blow bubbles, get out the play dough.  Read to them - books can transport them to other countries.  


I look at my grown children and am amazed and proud of what they have accomplished with their lives.  I see two of them who have become extraordinary mothers. I see adults who are not afraid to follow their dreams, no matter what others may think; they just go for it. I see a 'nothing can stop me' attitude in my son - who went for the job he wanted and was persistent enough that they not only set up an interview but also offered him the job. I see siblings who laugh together and at each other but through it all - they love each other.  

They follow their heart. This is important.  Also, probably even more importantly, they turn to God.  I can't take credit for what they have become but I am proud of each of them and the opportunity I have to be their mother.