Free Day

I've been quiet for a while.  Took time off to have a knee replacement and then holidays and busy time at work.  Well, it's still our busy time at work but I'll take this time to vent a little.  I'm going to write about how I would answer calls if I were given a Free Day.  I really think everyone in Customer Service should be allowed one free day at least every quarter - every month would be nicer but I would settle for every quarter.

Here's how I would answer calls:

Caller - after asking numerous questions they should already know the answer to:  Well, if I have any other questions I'll call you back.
My Free Day answer:  I'm sorry but each caller is only allowed one call per semester. If you have any questions for us you need to ask them now.  Your number has been recorded and will now be blocked until the semester is over.


Caller:  Yeah, I'm calling to find out if it's to late to enroll for classes?
My Free Day Answer - well if you haven't taken the time to even apply for admissions a week before the semester starts then you are probably out of luck.  Try again next semester.


Caller:  My classes are on Monday and Wednesday but you are closed on Monday.  Should I come to campus any way?
My Free Day answer:  Yes indeed - we will have monitors in place where you will need to check in just to verify that you showed up for class.  Your instructor will not be available that day but you must check in prior to the start time of your class time that day.


Caller:  Yeah, I'm taking Saturday only classes.  What should I do the rest of the week?  Do I need to go to campus?
My Free Day answer: Yes, we ask that all students report to campus every day of the week. Please feel free to just hang out in the lobby for the day. You may go home at 5 pm.


Caller (for the fourth time): Can you connect me to advisement?
My Free Day answer after telling him 3 times that no I cannot they do not receive any incoming phone calls:  Sorry, you're stuck with me.  How many times do I have to say - THEY DO NOT RECEIVE ANY INCOMING PHONE CALLS?


Caller:  Yeah, I'm kinda wondering where my money is?
My Free Day answer: I don't know - where did you put it?


Caller:  Can you tell me why my instructor hasn't answered my e-mail?
My Free Day answer: Why yes indeed.  Instructors only answer e-mails on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month of even numbered month.  If it is an odd -numbered month they will respond on the 2nd Thursday of the month.


Caller:  I don't think you're listening to me you aren't any help at all.
My Free Day answer:  Oh, yes, I'm listening to you. I quit really paying attention 10 minutes ago when you started telling me how dumb I was because you needed to turn in documents that have shown for the last 5 months that they needed to be turned in. It is not my fault that you choose to wait until today to check on this and now you don't have your financial aid in place.


Caller - parent calling for adult son (25 years old) who is asleep: No he's not available, he's asleep right now and I don't like to bother him.
My Free Day answer:  Perhaps you should bother him. He is an adult and he is responsible for his account and his classes. Make him grow up.


Caller: Can you look up classes for me and tell me what's available?
My Free Day answer - no you need to do that yourself. If you are serious about taking classes then you need to look and see what's available.  If you really want me to look I might give you finger painting classes.


Caller: Classes start next week and I didn't get my taxes done until last week. Now Financial Aid is saying they won't pay for my classes until all my information is turned in. I'm running out of time. Can you help me?
My Free Day answer: Sorry - perhaps you should have been thinking of those taxes last year when they were due then in January of this year you would not be wondering how to get the information you need.  Sounds to me like you are out of luck.



Now how much more fun would my job be if I could answer questions that way?