Golden Girl Lessons

I have always loved watching the Golden Girls.  Back when it first came on my daughter K.C. would always come into the bedroom with Gary and I at 10:30 and watch it before going to bed. K.C., her friend Shellie and I have always said we are going to be the Golden Girls when we get old.  I'm still waiting for that time.  

Shellie reminded me today that we learned a lot of lessons from the Golden Girls.  Let me share a few of these lessons with you.

1) If you want to be on Jeopardy you have to try out.  Hopefully you will do better than Dorothy did the time she tried out.  But we know you have to try out.  You don't just show up and get on the show.

2)  Keep cheesecake in the fridge.  This way you always have something available to drown your sorrows in.  Or to talk over your problems and solve all the world problems with your other Golden Girls.

3). Sperm banks don't have drive up windows.  Not that any of us considered it.

4)  To get really sparkling white teeth just run them through the dishwasher.

5) If there is danger of a volcano erupting, don't raise your hand when they want to sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin.  

6)  Italians are good  at screaming, hitting, cooking, singing opera and making love.  None of us are Italian though.

7)  Spanish flies aren't really flies -- but they do wear tiny little sombreros.

8). They don't let adults ride the horses in front of the grocery store.

9)  If you say you are taking along protection you don't mean you are taking armed guards with you.  

10)  Don't shave your head until you have the lead part in The King and I. You will look like a fool if someone else gets the part. 

11) There are two things you should fear.  They are fear and the bogey man.

12)  Separated egg yolks look like little balls of sunshine.  

13)  There are three important lessons to learn in school - the 3 R's -- Reading, 'Riting, and Rooster Inseminating. 

Now - we just need to decide where we are going to live; and I want to be sure that our bedrooms are as big as the bedrooms they all had.  And if I am 'Rose' they better not be hitting me upside the head.