Just a Few Calls

It's the start of semester and you know what that means - my calls increase as does the stupidity. 

I haven't had a free day recently so thought I might as well get on here and share with you.  Maybe it'll bring you some amusement. 

Student calls on Friday of the first week of semester inquiring about whether or not she needed to go to class she just wasn't sure.  My response was to ask if she had enrolled in classes.  The student says that she thinks so but she just wasn't sure what to do. I then ask if she had checked her class schedule  and get the same response. I go through the verification and look at the student account and verify that yes - she is enrolled in four classes. I ask her if she has attended her classes and her response was 'No, no one called and told me to go.' 

WHAT??? I told her no one was going to call her and that she had indeed missed the first entire week of classes.  She said 'Well I have two mailboxes and I never got any letter at either one telling me to show up.'   I advised her that she really  needing to be checking her college e-mail and that we would not be following up advising to go to class nor reminding her that she had classes.  I then told her she might want to contact her instructors since she has missed the entire first week. 

I then hang up thinking how do you get to be 41 years old and still expect someone to tell you this stuff?


And to the single mother who called me complaining because she missed the drop period and now has to pay for her class.  I get it - I've been a single mother myself. I know it's not easy. However, I also know it is doable - if  you want to make it happen you will make it happen.  Then to proceed and tell me that you have been coming here for 5 years and you have nothing to show for it does not speak well for you.  Suck it up, Buttercup. 



To the caller who already has a degree calling me for assistnace.  Your words were, 'You speak to stupid people all day. Don't try to tell me something I already know.'  Please keep in mind, you just put yourself in the category of 'stupid peole who call'.   You are the one calling me for assistance.  I've given you the best advise and I can tell you that if paperwork is required then yes you do have to turn it in - degree notwithstanding.


To the student calling regarding transcripts. I certainly can look that up for you and advise if we have it on file.  When I ask you what transcript we are looking for forgive me if I pause a moment when you tell me it is the transcript from our college.  Yes, we do have that - I don't know what you think we might have done with it.  Are you wanting to request this transcript be sent to another school? When you respond, 'No I just want to know if you have it.' I may again pause before I proceed with the conversation. 


And this student who advises they went to class and the instructor told them they weren't enrolled.  Did you check your class schedule. 'No, but I enrolled in the class'.  I then ask if they had made a payment plan. and they advise no so I tell them they were probably dropped for non-payment. 

I go through the verification with the student and then check account and sure enough he was dropped for non-payment.  Student then asks, 'So, should I go to my class?'  Again -- you are not enrolled in any class.  You did not make a payment plan so you were dropped and you do not have any classes to attend.  Telling me I need to contact ___________________ and they will verify you are enrolled does no good.  You  may certainly contact _______________________ yourself but my records show you are not enrolled in any class.