Treat Me With DIgnity

I have the privilege in my job of taking calls.  Some of them I have shared on  here as they can be quite amusing. 

Some can be head-shaking. 

Some are downright funny.

Yesterday I took a call and this lady goes into this speech about trying to help her mother who's wanting to take classes and they need a little assistance.  This is kind of a shortened version.  This is not an uncommon call. I frequently get calls from someone helping their mother, daughter, dad, boyfriend, cousin. 

I explained that I would have to speak to her mother and do a short verification and could then assist.  The lady puts her mother on the phone, which is on speaker phone,  and I start the verification process.  I get to the date of birth and my mouth drops open. 

This lady is 91 years old!! 

I'm thinking ok and proceed to try and verify.  This is where it starts. 

I ask for the street address.  You can hear the lady kind of pause as she is thinking. 

In the background I hear the daughter giving the information that her  mother needs to provide to me.

In the background I also hear the daughter say 'You've got to memorize this stuff and know it'.

I continue with the call and try to assist the elderly lady with her questions as I continue to hear the daughter in the background continue to talk to her mother as if she was a child. 


I get it.  I do. Sometimes the elderly do need the reminders - just as a child does.

Sometimes the elderly do get confused - just as a child does. 

BUT -- and this is my point.  Do it in private.  Give them their dignity.

Don't put them down or talk down to them in front of other people; or as in my case on a speaker phone where it can be heard. 

Did your mother do that to you when you needed gentle reminders as a child on learning your address?  Or did she assist, advise, encourage you during private moments where you were alone? 

To my children:  If I live to be 91 years old, which I do not think will happen, but if I do --- PLEASE, give me my dignity.  Remind me if I need to be reminded in a manner that is not demeaning to me as an adult. 

And to the 91 year old woman who is taking classes - I hope you have a fantastic semester!